I found this article on NairaLand and thought I should share, quite deep.
1. Emotional Immaturity. Emotionally immature people are the hardest to deal with. They can be extremely challenging, because they lack the ability to see life clearly and accurately, and to deal with it. They lack the ability to handle anger, disappointment, guilt, resentment, fear, jealousy, disappointment, grief, insecurity, and a myriad of other feelings appropriately.
2. Sex Before Marriage. Research using brain scans now shows powerful chemicals are released during sex that should create a powerful, everlasting bond.
“During sex with a men, women’s brain secretes oxytocin that causes them to bond emotionally to that man. This chemical is so overwhelming in a woman’s brain that just a 20-second hug can cause a female to become bonded to a male.
Both sexes get addictive doses of the pleasure-chemical dopamine that works out well for couples out to create lifelong marriages and stable families but the bonding, which acts like adhesive tape is weakened when people tear away power by breaking off with a sexual partner and moving on from one to another to another.
This destroys the ability to bond with one’s spouse permanently because the brain actually gets molded to not accept that deep emotional level that’s so important for marriage.
3. Feminism. These movement have successfully convinced some ladies that our mothers, grandmothers and great-grands were like slaves in their marriage. It has also convinced them that males are animals and women-beaters so any time there is a little misunderstanding in a marriage, the negative instinct that these teaching installed in the ladies will alert them that the animal is about to attack and whatever defense mechanism they have developed will be applied in full force. This is why many little misunderstandings ends in a fight.
4. Wrong Foundation. Anything build on a wrong foundation will not last. Most marriages fail not because the people involved are not willing to make it work but because it was built on a wrong foundation. Example of these foundations is “My Pastor or Prophet Said”. Sometimes people marry because of a pastor’s vision, prophecy or their own dream instead of because of love.
Secondly women do meet their their pastors prophet or whoever they have as a spiritual father for special prayers, jazz or concoctions that will help them get a guy. Likewise guys, they meet these thieves also for jazz or concoction. Such marriage dies once the jazz wears off
5. Putting Our Wants first Before Our Needs. We lack seriously here, We do not take time to know what our partner really needs. Ofcourse every body wants to live in large house, ride nice car, go on vacations etc but first; humans needs to be loved, cared for, appreciated, respected, listened to, etc. When you are busy chasing after the wants, your partner is likely to fall for whoever satisfies his or her need.
6. Copying Others and Listening To Their Advice. A marriage is doomed to fail once we start listening to the advice of outsiders or copying them. When you listen to foolish advices on your relationship from a friend whose sole objective maybe to destroy your marriage or from a man hater or woman hater, you will cease to love your partner.
You will start tearing him/her down with you words. Respect in the marriage will jump the fence, seeking his/her opinion on an issue becomes unncesarry because his/her judgment cannot be trusted by you.
7. Not Setting Priorities Right, Not Researching Background and Wrong Mindset. People no longer make working with their spouse to get a good family their priority.
Secondly some don’t research their family backgrounds to know about his/her family. They act based on love for the guy or girl. A family’s background such as honesty, integrity, modesty and other good morals should be considered before tying the knot.
Finally there are some who see marriage as a rest zone. A never ending party where their partner will also do things that will please them. They are always looking for easy comfort. If there is a little problem, they just quit, no effort to resolve the issue.
I Know Of Other Things Like, Lies, Cheating, Beating, drunkeness, lack of trust, Marrying just to be married or seen as a married person etc but those things are expected when you are running fast in a wrong lane.